And a fitting finale to Part 1 and Part 2:

Those who long for freedom attain it only after experiencing release—and release is a gift. …

We want to do away with all misery and be happy all the time. Perhaps one source of our tendency to think in terms of either-or is our choice of words, for happiness and misery are “either-or.” The traditional terms joy and sorrow better express our essential paradox, for we recognize both joy and sorrow as normal experiences; both, then, have a part in any spirituality. The attempt or the claim to experience only one will always be false—fortunately—for the person “in control” of everything is incapable of receiving a gift. …

Speaking to a group of nuns … Bonnie noted their concern about the pressures placed on them to constantly radiate “joy.”

“It’s too much,” one participant inserted, almost angrily. “There is sorrow in our lives, as in all lives. How can we be ‘always joyful’?”

Finally Bonnie spoke … “We can experience both joy and sorrow, even at the same time, for joy and sorrow are not opposites,” she began. “It is not joy and sorrow, but their opposites that cause damage—for the opposite of joy is cynicism and the opposite of sorrow is callousness.

“Cynicism,” she continued, “is rooted in the assumption that everyone is always in control. Callousness is the inability to feel that follows from the fear of losing control.”